This week my husband shared the most meaningful observation with me. He said we spend a lot of time together but he couldn't imagine it any other way. He even commented "You are my best friend and I love sharing life with you." He then proceeded to share that a lot of men he knows spend more time with their male friends then their wives. That most men use their male friendships to escape out of their marriage.
I don't want to mislead you to thinking our marriage is all about "us" because it's very important to have friends you can share other interests with. Our time together however is critical to us staying connected at a different level with each other. We spend time talking, sharing business ideas, discussing ministry, remodeling the house, going to concerts, fishing on the lake, talking over dinner and so on. If I don't have that time with my husband I get very lonely and less confident in our marriage.
Would you consider your spouse your best friend? If not, why? What would it take for you to get to the point where your spouse's company is a necessity?
Here are some solutions to turning your marriage around from just being married and living out your time like a job, to have a relationship that is meaningful, interactive, and full of connection and intimacy:
Be the instigator: Schedule date nights and time together. Be the one with the ideas and motivate your spouse.
Be positive: Who wants to spend time with someone who is always negative. Be happy and find the brighter side of life's events.
Show interest: Just showing interest in your spouses hobbies will build a connection in your relationship.
Take a trip down memory lane: Do things you used to do when you first met. Reconstruct the date that was the most significant in your relationship.
Be fun: Simply just enjoy life and have fun.. Demonstrate a spirit of joy and happiness.
Be selfless: Put the needs of your spouse before your own.
Be intimate: Don't overschedule so you have no time left for intimacy. Intimacy allows for that strong connection to stay fastened. You remain comfortable and confident with each other as you continue to share in this one-on-one time.